Are you starting to get worried in your wait for a mate? Well, you’re not alone.
Carol Wilson, found herself in this exact same place just a few years ago.
She questioned if a family was ever going to materialize for her. But, after much prayer and a strategic move on her part God answered her prayers.
After reading our interview I hope that you will be encouraged to know that God hasn’t forgotten you. Your future mate is out there waiting to meet a woman/man just like you.
In My Chambers: Welcome Carol, congrats on your marriage and baby girl. So happy to have the opportunity to share your journey with my readers. Tell me, when did your contentment as a single turn into worry? Carol: Thank you, Tanika. After graduating from my undergrad, I was on the verge of seeking a career, so the topic of being married was the last thing on my mind. I did not have a close relationship with the Lord, so I did not understand the importance of marriage; dating was good enough for me. Then after I was established in my career I began to notice that all of my friends were getting married and having kids, this is when my worrying started. It seemed like I was the only unmarried woman everywhere I went (i.e. work, church-small church at the time).
In My Chambers: Can you share the list of emotions you felt as you were waiting for the promise of a MATE?
Carol: Fear of growing old alone; there were times when I thought God had forgotten about me. I was also conscious as to what others thought of me, because I was in my 30s and not married.
Carol: Fear of growing old alone; there were times when I thought God had forgotten about me. I was also conscious as to what others thought of me, because I was in my 30s and not married.
In My Chambers: Carol, I remember you contacting me requesting prayer because you were feeling a bit discouraged in your wait. I added you to my prayer list and then some years later you told me about your exciting news.
Carol: Yes I had just come out of a relationship that was heading to marriage, so I was in a place of fear and confusion. Thanks to you and others who agreed with me in prayer. This is a testament of God’s faithfulness and the power of prayer (especially where two or more come into agreement). It took about 4 years after we last spoke, but I was at peace and content while waiting.
In My Chambers: During your time of singleness did you experience any cultural pressures as a Ghanaian woman?
Carol: As a Ghanian woman, I sure did..lol I even got phone calls from Ghana. However, I was at the point where I was content being single. It was okay with me if I was not called to be a wife and or a mother; so, my answer to the pressures was: “it is all up to the Lord”.
In My Chambers: Then you met him. How did this happen?Carol: We actually met on Christian Cafe: I was a skeptic about online dating, a friend who met her husband online convinced me to give it a try…so I prayed and believed that God can use any avenue if it is his will. It’s funny my husband’s friend also advised him to join Christian café as he had met his wife there. I signed up for a free trial; I wasn’t committed as this was all new to me and I was not really into meeting someone online; my profile didn’t even have my picture lol….However, God had plans to bring my husband through this avenue. This is a reminder that, faith without works is dead; we have to do our part and leave the rest to the Lord. My husband sent me an email during his free trial…I also had a free trial the same weekend, which I wasn’t aware of because I hadn’t been on the dating site for months. I was going through my junk mail which I usually don’t do, when I came across his sweet and sincere email…so I contacted him, and here we are.
In My Chambers: Wow, this definitely gives hope to those who are online with no picture up. How did you eventually know that He was the God sent?
Carol: Just the fact that I didn’t have to try and be someone else. I felt relaxed with him…and most importantly we were on the same page about Courtship and not to just date. We both had similar pasts in our quest for a mate…
In My Chambers: Was marriage all that you thought it would be? What was the biggest change you experienced besides adding MRS to your name?
Carol: It definitely has its challenges, but with God at the core, it is wonderful. The biggest change was coming home after the honey moon and sharing my living space with another person, and having to compromise. This was exceptionally challenging after being on my own for so many years. Another challenge was letting go and allowing him to be the head of the household.
In My Chambers: What advice do you have for single woman who are getting weary in their wait?
Carol: While waiting, I meditated on this passage: seek first the kingdom of God and all others will be given to you. A friend also gave me this book: “Idols of the heart” by Elise Fitzpatrick. After reading this book, I repented; because I made the desire to be married an idol. This book brought me to the place of contentment; desiring more of Jesus than anything else. I came to realize that, I didn’t need to be married in order to be complete or accepted. I wanted to live in God’s will, and if that meant being single then it was okay with me. I began to concentrate on the pros of single-hood: having the time to be more involved at church/community, helping out friends/family with their needs, being able to pick up and go without any attachments. At this point, I stop allowing the pressure of family and society interfere with my thoughts and emotions, I stop comparing myself to others and wishing for what others had; this was coveting. I came across this passage from Joyce Meyer devotional book: While you are busy wanting what someone else has that person maybe busy wanting your life. In short, be content and do your best with what you have; if God wants you to have what some else has (i.e. marriage/children); you can trust that he will bring it to you.God answers prayers; the answer maybe yes, no or wait, so ladies keep praying.
In My Chambers: And the church said Amen to that. Contentment is truly a journey and we all don’t arrive at this place in life at the same time but when we do I truly believe that God looks down, smiles and say’s NOW HE/SHE IS READY to receive a mate.
I thank you Carol for sharing and I pray God’s continued blessing upon you and your marriage.
This has been another In My Chambers Interview©
Until next time BELIEVE that all things are possible for You!