IMC: Welcome to In My Chambers Cassandra. At what age did you begin to desire marriage?
Cassandra: Around the age of 25
IMC: What did you learn from others about marriage?
Cassandra: A variety of things, but the main thing that stuck out from marriages that I admired was that God was at the centre and that love was a commitment not just a feeling. It wasn’t a fairy-tale or a romantic movie but making a choice to do whatever it took.
IMC: Was dating permitted in your church? If so, how was it different from “worldly dating”?
Cassandra: Yes, it was permitted. However it was advised to hang out in groups and limit alone time
IMC: Were you ever close to getting married before? How did you know that he wasn’t God’s perfect will for you?
Cassandra: Yes, I was engaged, we broke it off 6 months before the wedding. From the time of engagement I felt like something wasn’t right, even though I loved him, I didn’t feel any peace. I kept having bad dreams and I was losing a lot of sleep. I didn’t know how to explain it to anyone. We were in the midst of planning the wedding and I was feeling obligated to go through with it. I didn’t want to hurt him and I didn’t want our families to be upset with me. I thought maybe it was cold feet. After a few months of going through this I finally shared how I was feeling with my fiancé at the time. He suggested that we meet with our Pre-Marital counsellors and talk it out. That was the best and worst day! They asked us ALOT of questions, and we broke up in that 1st session. The amazing thing was, as soon as it ended I felt like a burden was lifted. Even though things ended for us, we were able to say, it was for the best and parted as friends. It wasn’t easy but I’ve never regretted that decision, the months following were difficult, a lot of people had questions, and it was exhausting trying to keep explaining myself. However through that process God was there every step of the way. A few months of feeling uncomfortable was better than going through with a wedding and living in a marriage filled with regret.
IMC: You got that right!!. Then you met Andre..who you were friends with for 14 years tell me how did he move from the friend zone?
Cassandra: A mutual friend had talked to me about him, and they had wondered if there had been any interest in each other at anytime during our friendship. I had never looked at him that way, and had never had romantic feelings about him. Months went by and he would cross my mind and I would dismiss the thought immediately. Then one day I was dropping his sister off, and when I saw him, God told me that he would be my husband. I almost fell out, and thought I could dismiss it but it wasn’t working! A couple of months later, I was down in Niagara visiting my family and Andre was planning on getting a group of our friends together while I was down. Instead of us hanging out one time, we ended up talking for hours on end every day that’s when I knew I was in trouble! We shared things from our past, we shared our dreams, goals etc. We’ve always been able to speak to each other easily but all of a sudden, things got awkward between us, something had changed! On the last day that I was visiting, we finally had the ‘conversation’. ‘Soo what’s going on with you’?
We started laughing, and we both commented that ‘God had a sense of humour’! We didn’t want to rush into anything. I think mainly because he was scared of my Dad and my brother! He said that we should take a few days to pray, fast and seek the Lord for his will. We contacted my mentor Pastor Evelyn to get her input and prayer. Long story short, it took longer than a few days to wait on God. There were things God had to work out in each of our lives. So we stayed apart until it was time. There were no phone calls, messages etc. We began courtship 8 months later. The time apart was quite difficult but it’s the best thing we could of ever done!
IMC: Now for the most exciting part of our interview..How did Andre pop the question?
Cassandra: On Christmas Eve, he said he was going to take me to Niagara Falls to see the lights, but before we went he said that we were going to drop off a gift for our friends. We got to their house, and we got out of the car. In the distance I could see fire, I saw our friend Stephen lighting something. Then my eyes adjusted to the dark, and there was black rope on a fence. There were letters about 5 feet high and it spelled out ‘Will you Marry Me, and each letter had caught on fire! I literally lost it! I was so excited! Then above my head these lights came on. I didn’t realize we were under a pavilion. Andre was on his knee, and I was jumping and screaming like a crazy person! I wasn’t even sure if I had said Yes!
IMC: Why did you say YES?
Cassandra: So many reasons, but I knew he was the one and the will of God for my life. The peace of God was constantly present and I never doubted for a moment.
IMC: Advice to your fellow “Single Ready & Waiting” women?
Cassandra: My advice is to surrender all to Christ and to trust in his timing. He knows the desires of your heart. Also enjoy the season you’re in. When I was single, I had a day that I longed to be married and that’s normal however I refused to wait on a spouse to enjoy my life. I travelled and I did things that I wanted to do. You are complete in God and only can make you whole. When the time comes for marriage, you won’t be dependent on your spouse to make you happy. Also don’t let anyone make you feel bad because your single! God has the final say!
In My Chambers with Mr. Andre Powell
IMC: The Bible say’s “He who finds a wife” (Proverbs 18:22).
At what age did you become marriage minded?
Andre: In my 20’s
IMC: What were you looking for in a wife? Was it hard to find?
Andre: I was looking for a virtuous woman, one that had a real relationship with God. Somebody that had been proven through trying times in their life and they remained steadfast in the Lord. Also someone that I could be myself around, and they would love me for me. Of course I wanted someone as well that I would be attracted to and intelligent.
IMC: Was there ever a time where you questioned God about whether you would get married or stay single?
Andre: Yes, most definitely there were those times. My past relationship didn’t seem to go anywhere. This led me to question God if I was supposed to be single.
IMC: After 14 years of friendship things changed. Cassandra moved from the friend zone to becoming bone of your bone…Did you always have a knowing that Cassandra would become your wife one day? How did you win Cassandra’s heart over?
Andre: We were very good friends, but I had no idea that she would end up becoming my wife one day! As far as winning her over, it was mutual between us! God opened our eyes to see each other in a different way.
IMC: What advice do you have for men in regards to finding a wife?
Andre: Surrender your life to God, and don’t rush into anything . Allow him to bring that person into your life. On our own we tend to mess things up. God’s timing is everything. He might also be teaching you how to put him first before getting into a relationship.
IMC: Well said. Thank you Cassandra and Andre for sharing with my readers. May you continue to make God your first love and the ROCK in which your marriage stands because all other ground is sinking sand.
This has been another In My Chambers blog interview. ©