In My Chambers With The Newlyweds – Mr. & Mrs. Wheeler

Welcome to another In My Chambers Blog Interview with Tanika

Learn more about my next guest ( Anissa ) in the video below.

IMC: Anissa Congratulations on your recent marital union.  Can you tell us about how you met?

Anissa: We met while using Plenty of Fish (POF) in late April 2010. He saw my profile pic and checked me out, I saw that he visited my page so I also peeked and liked what I saw. So I messaged him and from then we never stopped.

IMC:  Was it love at first site for you? ( pun intended)

Anissa:  For me it wasn’t love at first sight, my guards were still up from my past that I couldn’t commit so deeply.  I took my time to fall in love with my better half.

IMC:  What made you interested in seeing him again after your first date?

Anissa:  After our first official date I thought he would never want to see me again. I was so nervous and at the end of our date we didn’t hug (which I found out later he wanted to do) instead I extended my hand and shook his.  I could tell he was a little caught off guard but he kept calling. I knew that he took me seriously enough to wait.

IMC: Hi Dwayne welcome to In My Chambers I’ve got just a few questions for you. Was it love at first sight for you?

Dwayne: Yes, in person I fell in love just talking to her in the first few minutes.  To me she was the most beautiful woman I saw, having a child never discouraged me but made me love her more.

IMC:  What was it about Anissa that grabbed your attention?

Dwayne: Her eyes and lips grabbed my attention at first but it was her heartwarming personality that sealed the deal for me. You could tell she had a caring nature about her always taking care of others.

IMC: What caused you to consider on-line dating?

Dwayne’s response:  I considered on line dating because  previous ladies that I had approached that were interested in me were just focusing on my appearance and how young I looked for my age. They did not give me a chance to get to know them better. I figured on line dating is where I had the power to choose as well.

 

Anissa’s response – I considered on line dating because at the time a few of my friends were in relationships from the site and seemed happy. To be honest I was feeling like how would a single  divorced mother meet anyone and who would be interested in me as I came with a package. I always believed in love but wasn’t sure how to get there. Through prayer He lead me to where I am now.

IMC: At what point did you decide it was the right time to introduce your daughter Azariah to Dwayne?

Anissa:  Well the introduction to my daughter came sooner than expected only because I had bought a house just before I met Dwayne and it was a fast closing. He was such a gentlemen always trying to help in any way. He would come over after my daughter went to bed so he could help me purge and pack. He was my angel as it was a hard time for me, I was low from losing my mother and finalizing my divorce the year before. Plus around the time I moved which was approximately 2 months after I met Dwayne I introduced Azariah to him, she was only 3 so I wasn’t sure her reaction but she connected with him from day one.

IMC:  What did your family and friends think about him?

Anissa: Well my friends and family loved him from day one, so much so I had my male friends saying “Anissa you better treat him right, I like him – it baffled me I said really you just met him but they said they liked what they saw”. Everyone meshed so well it was like he had been around my whole life, it was then I realized this connection never happened with my ex husband.  I was moving in the right direction.

IMC: Prior to  meeting your now husband you had gone through a divorce. Infidelity had hit your marriage, how did you handle the disappointing news? Did you try to still make the marriage work?

Anissa: Handling my divorce was the most painful process, the disappointment that I failed weighed heavily for me. I was only 25 when we got married and the first out of my friends to do it. I dreamed and had a plan to marry by  25 and buy house and baby all before 30. Well I did get married but baby came 5 years later and it wasn’t easy. Once my marriage was over I had a 10 month old and felt so alone against the world. My ex didn’t want to try, he left and never turned back or at any point did he ask to come back.  How could I let anyone know it didn’t last, but through prayer and support my friends brought me through. As weird as this may sound I gained an overwhelming strength to conquer through the pain.  I never had a drivers license or car and immediately I pursued that and continued to do the best I could.

IMC:  Looking back were there any red flags along the way that you may have overlooked?

Anissa: Yes many red flags, communication was the biggest. I worked so hard at it while he never did. I always felt opposites attract since I was the extrovert and he was an introvert. I expected I could change him once we got married.  Biggest mistake ever I didn’t accept him for who he was because that didn’t satisfy me completely.

IMC: What kind of support did you have in place to make sure that you and your daughter stayed afloat?

Anissa: Well my support came from family and friends.  My faith was the foundation to lift me to higher places. I learned some time after my mom died that she had put money aside for me. That was what I needed and I bought my first home and decided to move to Ajax to make a better life.

IMC: How long were you “single again” before getting your copy of the Single Ready & waiting book? How did this book help you to embrace your single again status?

Anissa: Well I got the book in 2012 by that time I was already involved with Dwayne for 18 months+ but before him I was single for 2.5 years. No contact with anyone and just focusing on raising my daughter.  The book helped me get on track with Dwayne and look for the things I knew would keep me satisfied. The line in the book which read being Whole without holes was powerful, I had so many holes destroying me in my marriage. I worked at permanently patching them up so,I could find a man to complete my Wholeness. His work ethics, faith, family life, finance and independence were all green lights to move forward.

IMC: What advice do you have for divorced women who have been abandoned by a spouse?

Anissa: The advice I have for women abandoned by a spouse fall into just a few sentences. God always says he would never give you more than you could bare, come to him and he will see you through. That was all I needed, to this day people admire how I did it and my response can only be though the name of Jesus.

IMC: What advice do you have for single mothers who are considering on-line dating?

Anissa: Advice for single mothers dating on line is to be honest from the beginning and trust those inner thoughts when God whispers to you.  I always disclosed my number priority in being a mom and not taking that for granted. Take your time and move on faith not lust. It may not always work but if you didn’t try what’s the other option. Finally the prayer that you included in your book I read that daily to remind me what I wanted in this relationship.