Just a Glance!
Contributing Writer: Gary James
We see beauty of all types. We see it all around us. Because we are inherently endowed with the ability to recognize beauty, we will do that which is indigenous to our nature; and that is to gaze at the beauty. What kind of beauty are we really talking about? We all do take note of the varieties: Beautiful homes, automobiles, landscapes, animals, and even people. We see that which God has created, then that which men have accomplished, and are amazed by what we see. It’s almost as if we are being fed by the beauty. Though we can appreciate the beauty, as a culture we are known to have taken these things to unhealthy extremes. We are drawn to the things which we observe. But ‘greed’ itself knows no bounds.
The history of modern pornography is a perfect example of this. What began as the casual admiration of art (which included the curves of a female’s body) revolutionized into a cultural obsession. Marcantonio Raimondi’s work back in the early 16th Century became the prototype of the sexually explicit material which, since then, became the subject of controversy and censorship. Raimondi published sixteen sexually explicit engravings that were designed by Giulio Romano and collectively titled the I Modi. The I Modi visually depicted figures from Greco-Roman mythology to Classical antiquity, enjoying the pleasures of copulation [1]. From the 1521 until 2011, there has been no end to the controversy or the censorship. Yet, from the restricted access of a few adults to the uninhibited immediacy provided by the internet, these erotic visuals seemed to have found their ways into homes and the minds of countless people.
I feel personally, that there is a distinction between the act of looking with the eyes and taking it a step further, and looking with the heart. One could say that the hearts of men are innately corrupt and that by looking we run the risk of sinning. I remember hearing a sermon (don’t remember whose sermon) of a Jewish Rabbi shutting his eyes to avoid looking at an attractive female with tightly fitted clothing, only to run square into a pole. I can also think of a young Mexican man staring at an attractive female with tightly fitted clothing, only to run into a pole. Is the issue really our looking or not looking? The question should rather be, “why do we continue to look?” Here is an analogy: I see a beautiful red Viper cruising by and two kinds of thoughts could run through my mind. (1) “Hmm, that’s nice!” and (2) “Man, I would love to have one just like that one.” I’m not going to act righteously and presumably condemn any man for thinking number (2). I would have to ask myself, and the other guy, “what happens when the Escalade drives by, then the Ferrari, then the Bentley? The hearts of men are corrupt whenever they are bent towards greed and frivolity. They will take and waste with little regard for the things which are at their disposal. What happens when men are like this towards women?
By staring only, this could be enough to feed a compulsive desire. If this is a desire, should this also be considered as a need? I read Lester Sumrall’s quote in his book ‘Overcoming Compulsive Desires,’
“The needs themselves are legitimate, but sin uses them against us by offering illegitimate, substitute ways of getting them met-ways God never intended us to use. Sin takes what is good and perverts it” [2]
This reminds me of the story of David (which many are familiar with). David came face to face with the same choice.
2 One evening he got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of his house. From there he saw a woman bathing. She was very beautiful, 3 so David sent for his officers and asked them who she was. An officer answered, “That is Bathsheba, daughter of Eliam. She is the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 4 David sent messengers to go and bring Bathsheba to him. She had just purified herself after her monthly time of bleeding. She went to David, he had sexual relations with her, and then she went back to her house. ~2Samuel 11:2-4
1 The Lord sent Nathan to David. Nathan went to him and said, “There were two men in a city. One man was rich, but the other man was poor. 2 The rich man had lots of sheep and cattle. 3 But the poor man had nothing except one little female lamb that he bought. The poor man fed the lamb, and the lamb grew up with this poor man and his children. She ate from the poor man’s food and drank from his cup. The lamb slept on the poor man’s chest. The lamb was like a daughter to the poor man. 4 “Then a traveler stopped to visit the rich man. The rich man wanted to give food to the traveler, but he did not want to take any of his own sheep or cattle to feed the traveler. No, the rich man took the lamb from the poor man and cooked it for his visitor.” 5 David became very angry with the rich man. He said to Nathan, “As the Lord lives, the man who did this should die! 6 He must pay four times the price of the lamb because he did this terrible thing and because he had no mercy.” 7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are that rich man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I chose[a] you to be the king of Israel. I saved you from Saul. 8 I let you take his family and his wives, and I made you king of Israel and Judah. As if that had not been enough, I would have given you more and more. 9 So why did you ignore my command? Why did you do what I say is wrong? You let the Ammonites kill Uriah the Hittite, and you took his wife. It is as if you yourself killed Uriah in war.10 So your family will never have peace! When you took Uriah’s wife, you showed that you did not respect me.’ ~2Samuel 12:1-10 [3]
I see attractive women all the time. And I would be a hypocrite to say, “I do not notice them!” I would often take a quick glance at a beautiful and attractive female. It would then become my volition to gaze at her even longer. This is where I would have to look introspectively at my own heart and ask, “Why am I following her with my eyes?” “Is there anything about her which grabs my attention?” “What do I see in her which resonates with me as the kind of woman I would love to spend the rest of my life with?” “Did she say anything, do anything, or show signs of something which correlates with my worldview?” “Or am I only gazing at her beauty?”
I’m sure that we all (most of us) at some point will take note of the attractiveness of a person of the opposite sex. And if we are to be mesmerized by the beauty, will it be possible to envision more than the outward beauty itself? Do we also see the intrinsic value of that individual? That God has invested great worth in that individual because He created that person in His own image?
When we gaze at someone of the opposite sex because of their beauty, it will be easy to gaze at the next attractive person passing by. When we have not established in our own hearts the standards for our actions, our behavior, or our conduct, it will be easy to harbor the wrong kinds of mindsets which would ultimately be incorporated into our actions. Tragically, this mindset has often been carried over into marriages. Men, who marry women only because of their beauty, are at the risk of shattering that commitment. There will always be a female out there who is more attractive. And what will that man do after the years have gone by, and the woman he married for beauty no longer looks the same?
Men who know true ‘beauty’ will see an additional attractiveness which will last even longer than the exterior. Victor Hugo in his famous novel Les Miserable writes,
“The power of a glance has been so much abused in love stories, that it has come to be disbelieved in. Few people dare now to say that two beings have fallen in love because they have looked at each other. Yet it is in this way that love begins, and in this way only.” [4]
Hermann Hesse, a German-born, Swiss poet and novelist stated,
“Love must not entreat,’ she added, ‘or demand. Love must have the strength to become certain within itself. Then it ceases merely to be attracted and begins to attract.” [5]
The man who married his wife for reasons beyond outward appearance can see the gorgeous woman walking across the street with his eyes, and his own wife with his heart. And speaking of the heart, the home is where her heart is waiting to embrace him. Outside the home, there is only superficiality. Best-selling Japanese writer, Haruki Murakami wrote,
“I was always attracted not by some quantifiable, external beauty, but by something deep down, something absolute. Just as some people have a secret love for rainstorms, earthquakes, or blackouts, I liked that certain undefinable something directed my way by members of the opposite sex. For want of a better word, call it magnetism. Like it or not, it’s a kind of power that snares people and reels them in.”[6]
In the Song of Solomon the main character tells of her search for her love (Solomon)
By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not. [2] I will rise now, and go about the city in the streets, and in the broad ways I will seek him whom my soul loveth: I sought him, but I found him not. [3] The watchmen that go about the city found me: to whom I said , Saw ye him whom my soul loveth? [4] It was but a little that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth: I held him, and would not let him go, until I had brought him into my mother’s house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me. [5] I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please. ~ Song of Solomon 3:1-5 [7]
This unidentified person we know is a female living during the time of King Solomon. And throughout her writings she is weaving together the tapestry of experiences surrounding this love story. These poetic writings would sound more like a woman’s personal diary. She knew what she was looking for, as she cautions other women to neither stir nor awaken her love (Solomon) until he pleases. Solomon had so many women to choose from throughout his realm. This might have made it more difficult for him to find the right one. In this book (Song of Solomon) we are looking into the heart of one woman. Maybe if Solomon stressed the inward beauty more, we wouldn’t be reading about 700 wives and 300 concubines.
Men who understand when to look only with the eyes and when to look with the heart will espouse feelings of contentment.
GJV
Bibliography
[1] Overcoming Compulsive Desires/ Lester Sumrall/ Perverting the Good. pg33
[2] www.pornographyhistory.com/ The History of Modern Pornography/ 16th Century
[3] Samuel 11 and 12
[4] Les Miserables/ Victor Hugo
[5] Demian / Hermann Hesse,
[6] South of the Border, West of the Sun/ Haruki Murakami
[7] Song of Solomon 3:1-5