Nine years today I said "I do!" and the only regret I have is that I didn't do this ONE THING sooner...and that is..WELL, it's not as important as these next 9 lessons I've learned so let's take a look at them first.
1. Marriage is not only a ministry it's your first ministry
The way you start the day...how you share God's love and grace to each other.
How you spend quality time still getting to know each other....how you incorporate prayer into your relationship...how you make each other a priority above everything else...and if you have children...how you love and train them up in the way "they should go" (Proverbs 22:6).... Your marriage is truly a SERMON....a sermon that can draw others to Christ.
2. Team work makes a marriage work
Always think team and how you can work together to make each others life easier and enjoyable. I came across a quote that said "Happily ever after doesn't just happen YOU create it, YOU build it, and YOU nurture it."
3. Never try to fix your spouse pray for your spouse.
When we choose to pray for our spouse it can not only change things, it can change the one praying. Remember, God is the potter and we are the clay.
4. Stay in your God ordained position as a wife. Why? because marriage is His idea and He established His order this way for a reason. Wives are to comfort..teach and nurture while husbands are to protect, lead and provide. This is the Biblical order of the family.
5. It's the little things that mean so much.
A"How was your day" or "how can I help you today"..... can go a long way...and it doesn't cost a thing to say it. Create that safe place for each other.
6. Make the time
With busy schedules you have to be intentional about creating "us time". So date nights should be high on the 'things to do list.' And then just simply being there for each other when he/she/family needs you most..this creates closeness.
7. Don't wait for a crisis
One of the best things you can do for your marriage is to seek out mentors; that is accountability marriage mentors. Why? Because in marriage you can experience great days and not so great days. This won't be strange to your mentors because they've already walked through it and can be a great voice of reason and wise counsel. Waiting for a marital crisis before reaching out isn't the best way to divorce-proof your marriage.
8. Communicate
The best way to communicate is to communicate. Don't hold your feelings in and play that game 'He Should Know' or 'You Figure It Out'..lol. These games don't usually solve much. So be wise and share, share, share if you're serious about your marital success.
9. Protect your marriage
Whatever marital problems you may experience along the way be very selective about who you share it with because as they say ...misery loves company. Annnnnnnd when listening to others, be sure to guard your own heart....you don't want their marital problems to all of a sudden become yours.
Am I helping somebody???? I sure hope so.
Now, for that one thing I regret NOT doing sooner? I regret not making a cupboard in my kitchen for me myself and I....you know the one with your favourite snacks with the words "NO Snack-TRESSPASSING" on it...yah that one....lol......I had to learn the hard way; but not anymore 🙂 (Get your cupboard gurl)
Until Marriage at 10... stay blessed everyone! Tanika Chambers
Author, International Speaker,
Guide to Courtship Mentor
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