Any Family Feud watchers out there?
I will never forget the first time I watched a show with my daughter. Her face just lit up when she saw Steve Harvey. I said , “That’s Steve Harvey”; and she said, “Daddy.” LOL At first, I was a bit perplexed as to why she called him Daddy but then it all made sense. Her dad wears suits most of the time and seeing Steve, a black man with a ball head she was automatically drawn to him. Steve reminded her of Daddy.
Her reaction caused me to take an even further look at the father-daughter relationship and how it shapes a girl or woman’s perception about men.
In my research I came across the following quotes:
- “Most psychologists believe that all future romantic relationships to occur in a girl’s life will be influenced positively or negatively by the way she perceives and interacts with her dad. If he rejects and ignores her, she will spend her life trying to replace him in her heart. If he is warm and nurturing, she will look for a lover to equal him. If he thinks she is beautiful, worthy, and feminine, she will be inclined to see herself that way.” writes Dr. James Dobson in the Complete Marriage and Family Home Reference Guide.And second…..
- “A young woman’s relationship with her father has a significant impact on her view of men, her view of God and her view of herself.” writes Gary Thomas of Sacred Parenting
From these quotes alone we can see just how important it is for a father to model how a man should treat a woman because it will set the standard for her future relationships with men.
How about you? Would you say your father did a good job demonstrating how a man should treat you?
Here are a few questions for personal reflection on your father-daughter relationship.
- When you think of your father’s role in your life, what words come to mind?
- How was your dad raised? With love or was he abandoned or rejected as a child, adult?
- How did you feel his struggles in life affected the way he treated you or his capacity to raise you?
- Do you have any resentment towards him?
- How do these resentments hold you back in your own life?
- Can you thank him deeply inside for what he gave you or didn’t give you?
- Can you see how you’re father’s role in your life has made you stronger?
- Have you forgiven him for his lack of support? Emotionally, spiritually, financially?
- Do you understand anything from your father’s life?
- How was his own relationship with his parents and grandparents?
- Can you find the gold in your Father?
I hope these questions were as helpful to you as they were to me.
Tanika, Author of “Single, Ready & Waiting: Your Guide to Courtship”@singlereadyandwaiting